Imagine you’ve got the steak grilled to perfection, your corn on the cob has been buttered, and your cold drink freshly poured.  You’re about to sit down to this feast, when you pull your patio chair in and owwww…you smash your fingers on the side of the table.  Either the table’s too low or the chair is too high.  Whatever it is, it hurts! 

Ever do that?  It’s probably time to ditch the patio chairs from your first apartment.  The ones you bought on sale, because they were a god-awful color.  They never quite fit with the landscape, anyway.  But they tell a story, you say?  Let them tell it to someone else.   

Get chairs that actually fit under the table.  What a novel idea.  That way a) you can actually enjoy eating the meal in front of you if you have unlimited use of your fingers and b) you don’t have to come up with a ridiculous story about how your fingers got smashed.  Of course, no one wants to hear that you caught them in the viselike grip of your patio table.  You’ll have to do better than that.  Perhaps you could include a reference to an F-15 fighter jet.